Russian Roulette
by Friend to All
Summary: Jason has reached the end of his rope. A chance encounter with Aria maybe the only hope he has left. Rated M for attempted suicide.


A/N: This story is inspired by the song Russian Roulette by Rihanna. First, let me say that I do not encourage the act of playing this deadly game. That said, people struggle with self harm daily and with the background of both theses characters it felt like a plausible scenario. If you are struggling with something like this feel free to contact me any time. I will never judge you for it. I know what that dark place feels like so please even if you feel you have no one, I'm here. Second, this is not my usual fanfiction because though there is some tension there is no real romance. This is set before Alison's death/disappearance and therefor completely AU.

Warnings: Attempted suicide and swearing.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. This is not written for profit.

* * *

_I'm terrified but I'm not leaving, _  
_Know that I must pass this test. _  
_So, just pull the trigger..._

_As my life flashes before my eyes, _  
_I'm wondering will I ever see another sunrise? _  
_So many won't get the chance to say good-bye, _  
_But it's too late to think of the value of my life.  
_  
**_-Russian Roulette by Rihanna_**

* * *

Aria could not sleep, she was not sure why. Nothing was bothering her and sleeping over at Alison's house with the other girls was too routine to throw off her sleeping habits. Growing tired of tossing and turning while the other four slept peacefully the tiny brunette got up to get a drink of water. After tip toeing down the stairs Aria walked toward the kitchen but stopped when she noticed a light on in the DiLaurentis study. Usually it would not be that odd but neither of Ali's parents were home. That left the house's only other occupant. Jason was home tonight but why would he be in there at this time of night?

Quietly Aria sneaks over and peers into the room. What she sees makes her heart stop. Sitting on the couch is Jason DiLaurentis, eyes clearer than she has ever seen them. His face is stoic as he leans forward with his forearms on his thighs. Those pale green eyes transfixed on a loaded revolver on the coffee table. Without thinking she steps into the room, and the noise draws his attention. He studies her curious what she will have to say about the situation she has found him in. The intensity of his stare makes Aria want to squirm but the possibilities of what finding him like this could mean keeps her still. They are both silent as she crosses the room, picks up the gun, and sits down on the table, her knees brushing his.

Thoughts of asking what he is doing are quickly shot down. Looking into the turbulent depths of Jason's eyes Aria knows exactly what he was planning. She does not really know the young man across from her but she struggles to find what to say or do to make him forget this course of action. As if reading her thoughts his jaw clenches. Just like that she knows noting will change his mind. A reckless idea pops into her head. Desperate times, she thinks.

Looking away from Jason for the first time since she entered the study Aria drops her eyes to the revolver. Opening the barrel she empties the bullets into her palm. Setting five down she reloads one into the chamber, closes the barrel, and spins it.

"What are you doing?" Jason's voice startles her and Aria's eyes dart to his. With eyes narrowed in confusion and curiosity he watches her.

Taking a deep breath Aria puts them both in the hands of fate. Offering Jason the gun she speaks, dooming one of them. "Let's play a game."

His eyes widen but something about the look on her face tells him Aria is not about to back down. Instead of speaking he takes the gun from her, puts it to his temple, cocks it, then...

CLICK

Challenge in his movements he holds the weapon out to her. Aria takes it back and points it at her own head. Heart pounding she cocks the gun and...

CLICK

Jason licks his lips, he honestly thought she would chicken out. As he holds the cool metal in his hand he realizes it should not surprise him. Of all Alison's friends Aria has always stood out and done the unexpected. The pink streaks in her hair stand out more than ever in this moment and her eyes never even flinch from his as he pulls the trigger again.

CLICK

Aria's mind races with all the things that could be left undone or unsaid as Jason passes back the weapon. Yes, she has thought about taking her own life before but she has never had the will to follow through. However, right now she is not afraid. If this saves Jason's life it will be worth it. It does not take much pressure to pull the trigger.

CLICK

It is fifty/fifty now that this will be the last thing he does, the last breath he takes. Somehow Jason is glad that Aria is the last thing he will see instead of an empty room. A wave of sadness sweeps through him as the metal touches the skin of his face. Regret for the friendship he could have built with this girl if he was a better man.

CLICK

There is only one more round left. She is going to die. Jason hesitates to hand her the gun back but Aria does not even shake. Determination swirls in her chocolate brown eyes. Time moves in slow motion for him as she presses the revolver to her temple, pulls the hammer back, and begins to squeeze the trigger.

BANG

The sound is not as loud as she expected it to be. It takes Aria a second to realize she is not, in fact, dead. The noise did not even come from the shot but her own skull connecting with the hard surface of the coffee table. Not even knowing when she shut her eyes she forces her lids to open.

At the last possible instant Jason found himself moving. Grabbing both her wrists he twisted Aria side ways and pinned her to the table. The gun clattering out of her grip with the force. When her eyes flutter open he notices how close they are and suppresses the urge to kiss her, happy she is still alive. The adrenaline rushing through his veins helps shut off that train of thinking. Breathless he scolds her, "Are you insane? You could have died."

Normally Aria would have snapped back at him but she is trying to save Jason not condemn him. Giving him a twisted smirk she replies in a smug tone, "That was the plan. You don't play with fire unless you want to get burned, right?"

Agitated by her flippancy Jason's voice becomes stern, "That wasn't just a game. This is your life we're talking about. You are too young and have too much potential to just disappear. You don't deserve to die."

"Oh, and you do?" Aria scoffs back. She must tread carefully, Jason is on a precarious edge. If she is sloppy he will never step back from the ledge.

Frustrated the flood gates holding back all his self doubt break. "I only disappoint my parents, my own sister hates me, my friends aren't really friends, and I hate the person I've become. Especially when I'm drunk or high. Yeah, I think I'm a useless waste of air who deserves to die."

Aria's hear breaks for the jaded man holding her down. "You're wrong. You've made some bad choices but it doesn't mean you should die. You aren't that much older than me and you have just as much, if not more, potential. Rock bottom is a rough place to be but you can only go up from there. People will do and think what they want. Ignore them and start making different decisions to make you happy."

"Easier said then done. None of that explains why you would risk your own life just to stop me from taking mine." Jason watches her again wondering what reason Aria could possibly have.

"You're worth it Jason." She means every word. Nothing could convince her he was not. He was troubled, violent, and almost a stranger to her but in the many visits she has made to this house she as seen the good too. The pain that fractures his hard demeanor when Alison or his parents threw another insult his way. The protective streak that prompted him to barge into Ali's room when they all scream during a scary movie, stoned or not. These are just two of the many underrated qualities he possesses. Aria is observant though so she sees all the little things everyone else misses about him. Although Jason has her completely trapped and looms menacingly over her there is no fear in her.

Floored by her words Jason is speechless. How could she think that about him? He can feel the prickling of tears begin and fights them off. "No, I'm not. You're crazy to think so. No one wants me around."

Affection for this broken boy gentles Aria's tone, "Yes, you are. Maybe I am crazy but I don't want you gone."

Baffled by this petite angel Jason swallows hard and asks the question he does not believe she has an answer for, "Why?"

"I've never really gotten to know you but I know there is so much of yourself that you never show anyone. I get that, I hide behind an invisible mask with everyone too. Despite our differences we are a lot alike. I never feel as if I have to hide around you. Unwittingly I find myself trusting you." Aria has never said any of this aloud but she has written it a thousand different times since her first encounter with the older boy.

Sincerity is all he can read on her face. Jason does not find anything else no matter how hard he searches. He cannot stop the query that escapes his mouth next. It is something that he has always wondered about. "Why are you friends with my sister?" Her look of confusion urges him to expound further. "The both of you are so opposite. In your actions, words, feelings, heck," rolling his eyes at himself, "even your style is a complete one eighty from one another. How do you two get along?"

Shrugging as best she can with her hands pinned at either side of her Aria chuckles, "I wonder that myself sometimes. I think Alison appreciates my outspoken ways and she fascinates me with how she acts cruel to be kind. Every now and again I get the impression that I'm the only one who sees every side of her always. It's not just her I would lose if I ever walked away though. Emily, Spencer, and Hanna are my friends too and they would probably never speak to me again if I stopped being friends with Ali."

Nodding to indicate that he understands Jason throws another hard question at her. "Do you think I can do it? Make better choices I mean."

"Yes, I believe you are stronger than the demons that brought you to this point. If it is really what you want I think you can." Aria took no time answering him but what she wants to say next may get tossed back in her face. "I'll be here to help you if you'll let me. If you want me to be."

Jason lets those words sink in before responding. Does he want to change how he lives? Does he want this sprite like girl to be his support, his friend? The answer to both is the same. Yes. Only one thing bugs him about her offer. "What happens when Ali tells you to stop hanging out with a loser like me? Will you just drop me like a bad habit?"

Aria searches her own heart and mind for a moment. Could she stand up to Alison for Jason's sake? Actually that is quite simple. She almost took her own life for him without hesitation. "I tell Ali she can go fuck herself because I can be friends with whomever I want. Pretty sure blowing my own brains out is more frightening than Alison any day of the week."

Snorting at her morbid joke Jason smiles a little. "This is not going to be easy. I'm screwed up Aria. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into." He does not want her to abandon him but he cannot help trying to warn her off.

"Never said it would be. You never know, I could be a lot more messed up than I seem. I'm willing to rough it out if you are." Grinning up at him she becomes aware of the position they are in and how very little she is wearing. In just a tank top and short sleep shorts Aria suddenly feels very exposed. Jason's attire only consists of a pair of pajama pants that currently ride low on his hips and the knowledge sends a wave of heat through her.

Noticing the rising blush on her cheeks Jason too realizes their proximity. He was aware of how close their faces were but now the warmth of her thighs on either side of his hips cause him to scramble from on top of her. Once he is up Jason offers his hand to help Aria stand.

Aria makes a joke to break the tension, "And here I thought chivalry was dead." Taking his hand she stands smiling at him.

Shaking his head Jason grins at her, "Baby steps. First, being nice to you then maybe I can do the same with myself one day." Reluctantly he lets of her hand as they begin to walk out of the study together.

Side by side they climb the stairs but when they are supposed to part ways at the top landing to go to separate rooms his hand wraps around her wrist again. Aria stops and looks back at him. Jason appears uncertain of what he is doing then gives her a look begging her to understand what he wants. Reading his request she gulps and nods. Pivoting toward him Aria follows Jason to his bedroom. Nothing needs to be said. They crawl under the covers of his bed and lay facing each other. She slips her hand into his and they fall asleep with their intertwined fingers rested between them.

.~*~.

Sunlight streaming through the partially opened curtains wakes Aria from her slumber. A soft smile plays on her lips when she sees Jason's sleeping face. He looks so innocent without all the pain and self hate marring his features. Neither has moved and her hand has fallen asleep from being curled with his all night. She refuses to move and wake him though.

It is not long before Jason stirs and opens his eyes. Relief rushes through him because Aria is still next to him. "I thought is was a dream. Or that you'd be gone." His voice is husky with sleep but she hears every syllable.

Squeezing his hand Aria replies, "I won't disappear on you like that. I promise."

Slowly, they get up and go down to the kitchen. Breakfast is an entertaining event. Stretching their wings in their new friendship while cooking together makes for much laughter and teasing on both sides. After cleaning up the mess and eating Aria recalls that the bullets and gun are still on the floor. Putting them away proves to be sobering. As Jason turns around after closing the case Aria catches him off guard by hugging him. An instant later he hugs her back grateful to her for saving him.

Minutes later they wander into the living room and sit down on the couch. Deciding on watching cartoons they sit back and relax. Conversation flows easily between them. They do not say much of importance but bull shitting together gives Jason hope that with Aria's help he can sort things out.

Their little bubble of happiness pops when they hear the girls come down the stairs. Aria can see Jason close off anticipating the disappointment. She hates that he reacts this way but understands why. To prove that she will not leave him Aria pokes his side making Jason jump and face her. "What was that for?"

"Meh, wanted to see if you're ticklish. Seems like you are." Sticking her tongue out at him Aria giggles and does it again.

Swept up into the moment Jason grabs her hand with one hand and with his other hand reaches out to tickle her sides. Shrieking with laughter Aria tries to pull away but he follows her movements. Caged by his larger frame she ineffectually squirms and shoves at him to end his jubilant attack. She is not really trying to get away. Hearing Jason truly laugh feels like victory to Aria. It is small but she revels in it nonetheless.

"What the hell?" Alison's angry voice stops them in their tracks.

Panting and warm from exertion they both stop to look at the girls. Alison looks livid while the others just seem shocked. Turning back to one another Aria tires to stifle a laugh but soon both are dissolving into laughter. Jason lays his forehead on Aria's shoulder as the uncontainable mirth spills out. Acknowledging that she picked the tickle fight with him just to distract from the coming confrontation he finally accepts that they are friends.

Thoroughly delighted Aria joins Jason in his joyous display. The vibrations of his body against her own sends tingles up her spine. She knows getting close to Jason might be dangerous for her heart; that does not change her mind. He needs someone to care for him. She also knows she needs him too. It was no lie when she said she can be herself with him. All else be damned she was not walking away.

Alison speaks up again trying to part the merry pair. "Jason would you get off my friend and Aria stop being such a slut."

Their laughter dies and Aria shoots Jason an exasperated look. "Seriously Ali grow up. We were having a perfectly good tickle war her. What crawled up your ass and died last night?" Her tone is not defensive but the incredulous look Aria gives Alison speaks volumes.

Spencer, Hanna, Emily, and Jason all snort at her jab. Alison narrow her eyes at Aria. "So I'm guessing you two are what―"

Jason chimes in before Ali can try to demean them further. "We're friends." Out of the corner of his eye he can see Aria smile at him. Leaning back he pulls her with him. As one they sit up and shift toward an end. "Com on, truce for today Ali. Sit with us and watch some cartoons."

Blowing some hair out of her face Alison crosses her arms. "Fine, but we need food so we'll be back in a sec." The other three follow Ali to the kitchen still uncertain.

Aria surprises Jason by kissing him on the cheek. Shocked he blinks at her. Opening and closing his mouth several times Jason tries to produce coherent words but nothing comes.

"Thank you. You could have picked a fight with her but you didn't." Touched by the compromise Jason just made Aria beams up at him.

Melting at her sweetness Jason smirks back, "No sense in you losing them because of me. Who knows maybe with some work I can repair some of the damage I've done to Ali and I's relationship." Shrugging he dismissed his own thoughts as silly. "Thank you for not running."

Elated that Jason is truly trying Aria nudges his shoulder with hers. "You're stuck with me now. I hope you can fix things with her, it would do you both some good."

The other four rejoin them with bowls of cereal and muffins. The six of them spend the day watching TV and gradually Alison, Hanna, Emily, and Spencer relax around Jason.

It is not an ideal start but Aria and Jason have built a good foundation. The road ahead will be hard. His drug and alcohol addiction will take hard work and time to kick. With Aria to support him though Jason will survive it.


End file.
